A Game Of Temptation

LAURA

I was hanging a gown in the closet when my phone rang from the bed.

My mom’s name flashed across the screen when I picked it up and that was when I remembered that I was actually supposed to call her yesterday to let her know that I’d arrived safely.

Answering the call, I placed the phone against my ear.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Hey, munchkin,” Her raspy voice drifted across the speakers, “How are you, love?”

I sighed as I dropped down on the foot of my bed, the sound of her voice causing a sense of calm to wash over me. “I’m good. I was so tired yesterday, I forgot to call you like I said I would.” I told her, “I was just unpacking when you called.”

She hummed and I heard a steady tap on a table top. I immediately knew that she was drumming with her fingers on the table. Mom had a lot of… habits.

“I’m glad to hear that you arrived safe.” She coughed. “How’s Balery?”

Pretending that I hadn’t heard her cough, I said, “She’s doing really good. I swear, she and Jack look ten times better than they did when they were dating. Is that like a glow that comes with marriage or something?”

Mom laughed, deep and rusty. “Yes, sort of. When you’re in a marriage with someone you love, it’s a package deal.”

A small smile touched my lips at the sound of her laughter. “Now, you have me considering getting married just so that I can glow up like that.”

She laughed even more, the sounds coming out like barks. Deep, and sounding a lot like it was being pulled reluctantly out of her.

“Just saying. Don’t be surprised if you get an invite to my…” I trailed off when I heard her coughing again.

This time, it was worse because she didn’t stop coughing. She hacked and hacked until I had to pull the phone away from my ear, tears welling in my eyes. Even with the phone being so far from my ear, I could still hear her coughing.

Everyday, the coughing got worse and I hated it because the coughing always left her weak and tired. Leaving her by herself had started to prove difficult each time I visited her, until I’d had to reach out to the teenager in the house next to my mom’s and ask to pay her if she could check on my mom from time to time since mom wouldn’t let me hire someone for her.

I’d been so glad when the teenager had taken checking up on my mom seriously, because apparently, the two had developed a connection. She’d rejected my money, and instead, she’d become my mom’s friend.

When the coughing still didn’t stop, I brought the phone back to my ear and said, “Mom, drink some water.”

The sound of her coughing grew distant and I imagined she was fetching herself a glass of water. I could almost picture her with her hand shaking as she filled a glass with water from the tap.

I sighed, dropping my head in my hand as I patiently waited for her to get back on the phone, all the while trying to convince myself that she was okay. That the only reason I couldn’t hear her anymore, was because she’d gone to get water. Nothing more.

She was safe. She was fine.

Why was she taking so long then?

My palm started shaking and my hands started sweating. Please, Mom, please be okay.

I almost face-planted on the floor with relief when I heard the sound of her ragged breathing on the line.

“Mom? Did you drink water?”

“Yeah,” She coughed again, but it sounded more like she was trying to clear her throat. “What were you saying?”

I ignored her. “Where’s Jo?”

“She left about an hour ago.” She said hurriedly, “Now, what’s that you were saying?”

“Did she tell you where she was going?”

Jo was the teenager that lived next door and I knew that she had her own life and didn’t have to ask for permission from my mom before going wherever she wanted to. Actually, she did a lot for me than any other person had ever done, and I was grateful for that. I was just trying to figure something out.

“I don’t know. Probably school stuff.” Mom said just as hurriedly, punctuating the statement with a small cough.

That told me what I wanted to know.

For one, it was Sunday. No teenager wanted to be doing school stuff on a Sunday when they knew that they were going to be going to school the next day. Secondly, it was quite obvious now that my mom was lying. And I knew why.

She’d sent Jo away because she knew that there was no way she was going to be able to do what she wanted to do when the teenager was there. Jo would definitely report to me.

She’d sent Jo out because she’d wanted to smoke.

“Mom, how could you?” My voice broke on the last word. I felt betrayed and hurt. So hurt. “You promised to quit.”

Her heavy sigh sent a crackle across the line. “I had to.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“You don’t understand, Laura. It’s not that simple.” She hesitated, before saying, “It helps.”

The thing was I did understand. I did. But it still didn’t make it any better.

A tear slid down my cheek as an overwhelming feeling of helplessness weighed down on my shoulders. Another tear followed, then another one, and another, until before I knew it, I was crying, although no sound came out.

I didn’t want her to know that I was crying. Mom was a proud woman, and a strong one too. She hated when I fussed over and when I ‘cared too much’. But how fair was it that she was the one doing the physical damage and I was the one left to deal with the emotional one?

I cleared my throat. “Did you book that doctor’s appointment?”

She was silent for a while before saying, “Yeah. I have it on Tuesday.”

“Okay.” I was scared to hear what the doctor would say, but at the same time, I wanted to know too. “Take care of yourself, mom. I’ll call you.”

“Take care, my love.” She rasped, then I heard the beep that told me she’d ended the call.

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I hated this. Hated that almost every conversation with my mom left me scared and my emotions, all over the place. She was the only one that could get to me like this. I hated this soft, emotional version of myself that I was when I spoke to her, and what I hated even more was the fact that I wasn’t able to do anything about it.

I hated that I loved her. And I hated that she couldn’t love me enough to quit smoking when she obviously saw what it did to the both of us. At least if not for herself, for me.

That might make me selfish, but I didn’t care. At least one of us was thinking about her health.

I wiped at the tears on my face quickly and plastered on a smile when I heard a knock on the door.

A short moment later, Bales poked her head in, a small smile on her face. I’d thought that I did a good job at hiding the fact that I’d just been crying, but from the way her smile turned hesitant and her eyes ran down my face, I knew that I’d done a terrible job.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I said quickly. “Whats up?”

She hesitated before saying, “I was going to ask if you wanna lie out under the sun with me for a while.”

I nodded before she could even finish speaking. “Yeah, sure. I’ll be down in a minute. Just give me some time to finish unpacking.” I gestured blindly to my open box.

She nodded, still staring at me. She opened her mouth like she wanted to say something, but then seemed to think better of it and left.

I cursed again when the door slid shut, then went over to finish unpacking.

When I was done, I put on a two piece, grabbed a cover up, and went downstairs. I heard the sound of voices coming from the kitchen and guessed that the guys were probably in there.

I dropped on the bench next to Balery’s, applied sunscreen, and laid back, content to forget about the last hour and just enjoy my surroundings.

“Laura?”

I peeked one eye open at the sound of my name. “Yeah?”

“I know that it’s not my business and you can totally decide not to answer, but do you want to talk about what I walked in on?” Balery asked softly.

That one was a hard no.

“Not really.” I gave her a small smile. “Thanks for asking though.”

She returned my smile and squeezed my hand reassuringly before turning away.

Balery was a helper, I knew that. But not every situation could be helped.