A Girl in My Life

Lunch goes normally, Elisa only answers my questions and doesn’t bring up any subjects, I’m a bit confused between exposing my feelings to her or taking it easy.

At the end of our lunch we go to the living room, my hands start to sweat, I’m nervous.

– Thanks, the food was delicious – she says looking into my eyes – And thanks also for the opportunity to come here and see the furniture, it inspired me a lot.

– No need to thank you – “my girl”, I complete in thought – I know you will make beautiful drawings – she blushes.

– Now I have to go – she speaks nervously, running away from my eyes.

– It’s early, stay a little longer – I ask without any shame – I’m always alone here and I wanted to talk a little with you, Elisa – I say the end of the sentence seriously, I decide to tell in parts my feelings before she runs away.

She accepts, I invite her to accompany me to the garden, I feel so peaceful when I sit there in the middle of all that green just feeling the soft breeze on my face and the perfume of the beautiful flowers. We sit on a bench under a tree and I look for the best words.

– Do you believe in love at first sight? – I ask, staring into her beautiful honey-coloured eyes.

– Actually not much – my heart withered a little – Until… – she shuts up embarrassed.

– Until what? – I ask between curious and nervous, in my heart something rises.

– I don’t know to what extent this is something in my head, but I feel that I’ve seen you before, but you were in a different way, you were almost like me… – she speaks at once covering her face – I’ve been dreaming about a man, in my dreams it’s someone who holds me and protects me, who even though the world is against me, he smiles and welcomes me. I keep repeating his last words in my head, I know this sounds crazy, I just have the impression that I saw him twice, and one of them I was only one year old, even then I always waited for him, but then I saw you, I remembered him. You have exactly the same colour eyes as him. I know that a love like that I won’t be the one to live. I’m just a simple girl without any beauty, my mother was always very clear about these things, how could someone like him be interested in me? – she ends her story with a question, I can’t see her eyes, she is looking down, but my heart tightens.

– are you sure that this man who appears in your dreams is me? – I ask happily and she takes a deep breath before facing my eyes.

– Everything indicates that it is,” a stubborn tear runs down her eyes and I touch her face to wipe it away. – she asks, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands.

– I’ll never send you away – I caress her pale face – I’ve also been dreaming about a girl with beautiful honey-coloured eyes, I feel I’ve already known her, a lifetime, but I can never remember, it was then that I saw you, Elisa – she opens her eyes.

Then I start telling her everything, from the day I was simply saved from drowning and after that my memory loss to the moment I was registered as Mr. John Stewart’s son and only heir.

– The one thing I haven’t forgotten is your eyes – I touch your cheek – It’s strange how I feel I’ve always known you, when I saw you on the day of my presentation to the company it was as if I’d finally found my home, my purpose. I feel like my duty is to make you happy!

I let out everything that is stuck in my throat, I don’t understand and I don’t know if she will either, I don’t remember anything but I don’t forget her eyes. She sighs.

– Your duty is to make me happy… This is even stranger than my part of the story, better to let this madness go – she tries to dodge it.

– Let’s give ourselves this chance, Elisa? – I ask hopefully, I can’t let this go.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

– I don’t know what to think Anael – she confesses – I’m alone – she stops staring and then looks at me – I’m not beautiful or rich. What would I have to offer you?

– You’re beautiful – I hold her chin so that she fixes her runaway eyes on mine – And what you can give me, is what I want most – “your love”, I complete in thought but decide not to speak so I sigh before continuing – I want a chance that we can try, dreaming about each other must mean something, let’s find out?

– It’s hard for me.

– A chance? – I beg.

– All right, Anael,” she sighs, “but I know that when you realize I’m not what you expected, you’ll be disappointed.

We stay a few more moments in the garden to get to know each other better, Elisa is an amazing woman, beautiful, intelligent, sweet and very shy, withdrawn and depreciative, she is a girl inside a woman’s body. I have to make her see how special she is and especially to conquer her as she conquered me, fast. I feel that I belong to this woman and I want her for myself.

– Now I really need to leave.

– I’ll drive you – I warn her, already taking the car keys so as not to give her any chance to refuse.

She hands me the address and we continue in a comfortable silence. I didn’t want to say goodbye, but I understand that I need to give you space to think, it’s all very confusing. I don’t even understand everything myself. As I park in front of her house I see a thin blonde woman very similar to Elisa sitting on the pavement. My little girl gets down startled and walks over to the woman, I get down and go after her.

– Mum? What are you doing here? – my girl asks the woman who now I know is her mother, I feel a bad chill looking at that woman from up close, I don’t know, it seems I know her from somewhere and anyway I don’t sympathize with her, actually it seems to be something beyond not sympathizing, I feel that somehow I can’t stand her.

– You ingrate! – the woman is already attacking my sweet girl – I need money, I texted you and you didn’t answer. I’m going through a hard time and you can’t even help me with some twenty thousand reais, I raised you, put you in the world, took care of you, even though you are this abnormal…

– I changed my mother’s number – Elisa interrupts her and justifies with her head down – And I don’t have that much money.

– How could you not? – You work, earn well and apparently you’re still a dull and simple girl, just because now you don’t need crutches you think you’re better than me? – You’re too simple, too shy, too ugly, I don’t even know father…

– You came here to attack me again? – I can tell by the tone of her voice that she is holding back from crying.

– I came for help, but as a worthless girl you can’t – she speaks venomously and then realizes my presence – Hello young man – she approaches me and faces my black range rover – Are you a friend of my daughter?

– I don’t think we have anything to talk about, ma’am – I hold her hand before it reaches my chest – I ask you to leave – I just met her but I can’t stand this woman.

Directing a last angry look to her daughter she walks away from our presence leaving me relieved, I approach my sweet girl and realize that she is crying.

– Don’t cry – I touch her face – You’re perfect just the way you are – her eyes stare at me, desperately wanting to believe my words – I’m going to kiss you,” her eyes widen for a moment, but I don’t give her a chance to refuse, I take her lips with mine and again I feel everything in me light up. It has an intoxicating effect on me, it has an effect on her, and I know why she can’t hide it a hundred percent.

When we kiss the certainties become clear to me, because my heart speeds up and is sure that she is very special.

– Until another day my girl – I kiss her forehead and hug her tight – I’ll call you to arrange something, and please take care.

I ask as I walk away, she shakes her head in an affirmation and then I get in my car and take the streets to go back to my house. She still stares at me motionless until the car pulls away, I can still see her in the rearview mirror.

When she disappears from my vision she still lingers in my thoughts, I am absolutely certain that that shrew of a mother of hers has something to do with her insecurity. Low self-esteem can be a tricky problem, I know it won’t be very easy to make her understand that she is special.

I fell in love and the strange thing is that it happened so fast that I didn’t even see what hit me, I think I’ve loved this woman since before I met her, since when I used to dream about that pair of honey-colored eyes that hypnotize and intoxicate me. She’s the one my heart beats for and she’s the only one I want with me.