A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps

**FINVARA**

The last few months have been some of the longest of my life. I've always considered myself to be a very laid back person, I don't need much, I don't ask for much. I work hard and I'm lucky enough to be able to work every day for the future king, a very coveted and respected position. Even better, that future king happens to be my best friend. I don't think there are many people who can say they genuinely enjoy their work and truly like their boss, but I can. I was raised for this job, and I've never wanted to do anything else. Until recently I was happy and fulfilled. I never thought that I needed anything else. I was sad when King Ambrose was murdered, but as much as I cared about him, I had accepted his loss. So why is it that I can't seem to move on from one little human? I've been away from her for longer than I even knew her, yet missing her is the first thing I think about when I wake up, and I picture her face in my mind every night before I fall asleep. I'm no fool, I'm self aware enough to know that I have feelings for her. I knew that when I left. But I like my life here, and she can't come and join me. I know that which is why I made sure she knew that there was no future for us before I left. Before I left the first time that is. I thought that I would move on, that I would come back here and everything would eventually go back to how it was. I have never been more wrong. Sure, my job hasn't changed. But now whenever I accomplish something, or someone is being particularly annoying, I imagine telling Lucy and I try to think how she might respond. I have been obsessing over the technology I brought with me from the human realm in an attempt to feel closer to her. I wonder what she is doing constantly, sometimes I can't even focus on my own tasks anymore. To add insult to injury, I have been watching every day as my best friend falls more and more in love with his intended. I find that I am starting to get jealous. Not of Kat, she's great and perfect for Ashton. Even better, she has proven to be a wonderful friend to me too. She has never tried to separate me from Ashton, nor does she try to force him to take sides against me when we disagree or anything like that. I would go as far as to say she is one of my best friends now too. No, I'm jealous because I am watching them have the relationship that I want. Intentionally or not, there is a new distance between Ashton and I now. I am not the person he looks for whenever he is bored. I'm not the one he wants to tell all about his day and share his secrets with. Things have changed between us. I understand that, it's natural. Of course he wants to be with the woman he loves, of course I couldn't be his only confidante forever. But the way things are now I'm... I'm lonely. That's what it is. Not just because of Ashton and Kat, but because of me. I am rarely actually alone, but this feeling that has been growing since I came home is because I'm lonely. I want to be with someone too, but not just anyone. I want Lucy. I've always wanted Lucy, since the first day that we met. I wrestle with the idea. It's not fair for me to ask her to give up her life, not to mention it might be impossible for her to come here. But can I really leave my job? My best friend? Just to chase after a woman who might not even want me back?novelbin

I am pulling back my hair and getting dressed for another long day when I realise the answer to that question is yes. This is my normal morning routine, and I hate it. I'm dreading dragging myself through another day without her. I still like my work, but I'm beginning to resent it because my job is what is keeping me here, keeping me away from her. If I'm going to be miserable here, then why am I even staying? No one is stopping me from leaving. Okay, so technically I need royal permission to go, and I need to talk to Ashton about my job and what I'm going to do about it. I would also need to figure out where I would be staying if I were going to be in the human realm for any extended amount of time, and how I can convert fae currency to human money. I suppose I could take gemstones, gold and other items that are considered valuable and sell them. It would probably be the easiest way. But I'm getting carried away. I don't know if Lucy will even accept me if I ask to court her. I can't stay if she doesn't want me there. It wouldn't be right. Fine, I'll go see her and tell her how I feel. Then I'll figure out the rest of the details afterwards. Wait, have I decided? Am I doing this? Yes. I think I am. There's no point in putting it off any longer, now that I know what I truly want to do, I don't want to waste any more time. I could go straight to Ashton, get his permission to leave, but as my friend, he would probably feel that he HAS to say yes. I'll ask his mother first. If she refuses me then maybe I'll discuss it with him, see if he can change her mind. I don't want to leave without getting approval, but I'll do it if I have to. Still, for now I need to put my plan in motion. It's time to go see the queen.

I was lucky, the queen gave me permission to go. Even more lucky, Kat was with her at the time (Hardly surprising, they spend a lot of time together these days, I think Ashton's mother is trying to prepare Kat for her eventual retirement.) I was able to ask Kat for advice on how to approach Lucy. She told me a lot of things, but the most important part was that I need to apologise, explain myself and be honest. She is careful to point out she doesn't mean honest as in not lying. She means to be honest as in tell the whole truth, don't hide anything from Lucy. She's right. I need to tell her why I treated her the way I did, I need to tell her that I regret my decision, I need to tell her that I want to be with her and most importantly that I love her and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make things work between us. I don't want to make the same mistake Ashton did and assume that she understands my words and actions. I need to be sure. She needs to know what her options are. That I AM one of those options for her. She might reject me, in all likelihood she will. It's been a long time. For all I know, she's moved on. She might have found someone new. She never promised me anything, and even if she did, humans aren't bound to their promises the same way the fae are. Plus I would most certainly have given up any consideration she might have owed my feelings when I abandoned her the way I did. I expect her to be angry, I don't even know if she will be willing to talk to me. But I have to try, because I can't go back to the way things were, I'm not sure I even want to. My only choice is to try to go forwards and hope that she might be willing to take that step with

me.