A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps

Getting dressed should not take this long. I'm all for dressing up and I enjoy the ego boost that some nice makeup and a good pair of shoes can provide, but we are definitely going to be late meeting Marcus. I know he has a few other friends going so it's not like he will be standing around by himself, but I hate being late and every minute that I spend watching Lucy adjust her already perfectly styled hair, makes me increasingly anxious.

"Lucy for the last time, your hair looks great can we PLEASE go?" I plead with her. I'm about two seconds away from grabbing Ashton and just leaving without her.

"Oh stop complaining. We will be fashionably late. Besides, you weren't even planning on GOING this morning and now you're stressing about being a little late?" She pokes me in the stomach with the edge of her comb. I roll my eyes. "Not turning up because I'm busy is totally different to being late because you can't decide how much poof you want in your hair!" I argue. Lucy sticks one final pin into the side, holding a cute little braid in place.

"Okay, I'm ready. Now we should go make sure that your fae is presentable and THEN we can go." She declares.

"He's not MY fae. I'm just working for him, and I THINK we're friends. Or at least friendly." I insist. Lucy crosses her arms over her chest and scoffs.

"Like you haven't thought about hitting that. The guy is gorgeous. There's no way this is just a job." She stares at me.

"It's not like that.” I state firmly. Lucy throws her hands up in the air.

"Fine, whatever. Lie to yourself. But if anything changes and you guys get together you WILL tell me all about it." She glares at me in her sternest expression which is sort of undermined by the glitter on her cheeks and her adorable little ringlet curls. It's like being glared at by a doll. Actually, a doll would be scarier, those things are creepy.

"Yeah, yeah. Can we go now?" I beg and Lucy nods magnanimously. "Of course."

Ashton is in the living room attempting to do an internet search on my laptop. He mostly has the hang of it but he's a little slow. Apparently while he did somehow magically download English, his reading and writing is a little iffy. He CAN read English, but slowly. Like someone who learned to read as a kid but hasn't actually practised at all since. His typing is almost physically painful to watch. Using one finger, one key at a time and frustratingly slow. I think if we're actually going to get any real searching done I'm going to have to help. But there's no harm in him trying and practising when I'm busy with other things. Ashton stands up as we enter the room and gives us both a doop nod in greeting. He's changed clothes too, he's wearing the soft black leather pants he came here in and he's paired it with a white button up shirt that we picked up this morning and the black sneakers we got him. He didn't really like any of the other shoe options, to be honest he doesn't like these ones either but I did insist that he needed at least one pair of shoes to wear when we leave the house. He looks good, the pants pair weirdly well with the shirt making it seem less formal. The only issue I can see is that he looks a little stiff and uncomfortable. Probably because he has the shirt buttoned up all the way to the stop and he seems kind of strangled.

"Is this acceptable?" He holds his arms out to the side and presents himself for our assessment.

"Sure, although you don't need to wear that buttoned up all the way." I comment. Lucy however decides to take action. Without hesitation, she steps into his personal space, reaches up and begins undoing his top button. Flinching Ashton backs away out of her reach before she can so much as unhook one button.

"What are you doing?!" He looks absolutely appalled.

"Chill dude, I was just going to help you with your buttons, not strip you and ravish you." She backs away from him and holds her hands up in a calming gesture.

"Sorry if I made you uncomfortable." She apologises. Ashton eyes her suspiciously for a moment before nodding and accepting her apology.

"I think the fae have some different rules when it comes to propriety." I tell her.

"Is it... normal for a woman to just... just..." He seems to be struggling to find the words to express himself.

"It's not ABNORMAL. I mean, Lucy was being pretty casual and maybe a little more hands on than she should have been, but generally fixing a couple of buttons isn't a big deal here. Is it for you?" I ask. Ashton contemplates my words. "It is different back home. Touching is something that takes... more consideration." He phrases diplomatically. Okay, translation. Keep your hands to yourself. Maybe taking him to a crowded club is a bad idea. I think the lighting plus his glamour should be enough to disguise the fact that he isn't human. But it isn't going to hide how stupidly attractive he is.

“Uh, I feel like I should warn you, where we're going is pretty crowded and some people are not as polite as they should be. The chances of someone... intruding on your personal space is fairly high.” I admit. Ashton shrugs. "I understand, if I become uncomfortable I will just have to excuse myself." He decides.

"Sounds good. Let me know if you want to leave at any point. I promise I won't mind. As for your buttons, just undo the top two so the shirt isn't strangling you, alright?" I instruct him. Ashton does as I suggest and pulls his necklace out of his collar. The gold chain and black pendant stand out against the white shirt and actually match pretty well with his black pants.

"You look perfect. I can almost believe you're human.” She states happily. I'm briefly confused before I remember that she isn't looking through his glamour like I am. The markings over his skin are fascinating and his real eyes are stunning. Between those, his horns and his ears he doesn't look all that human to me. She is right about one thing though. He looks perfect.

"You ladies both look beautiful." He compliments us. He is looking us over curiously. If he were anyone else I would be a little creeped out by how much attention is he giving my dress, but I suspect he is just considering the fashion. I'm wearing a short, black dress. The front of the dress is a little plain but that isn't why I bought it. The back of the dress is my favourite part. It drops down into a deep V straight down to my lower back. The cut out section is held together with thin black straps which cross over my back and lace up together. Even better, because the back laces up it's pretty adjustable so the fitted bodice melds to my figure nicely and the flared skirt makes it a little less full on and formal, plus it's just more comfortable. I don't like fitted skirts all that much. They make it too hard to sit down without them riding up everywhere. I have my blue hair pinned in an updo with some tiny braids woven through it and a few loose tendrils. I wanted it up since it's warm enough now and we aren't in a building full of bodies crammed together. Plus I want to dance and I hate when my hair is all sweaty because it sometimes makes the dye run and stain my neck. I'm definitely going to regret the black heeled boots I'm wearing in a few hours but they match the dress and I refuse to wear flats with a dress like this. Lucy who has no issue with wearing tight clothes is in a bright red minidress which looks fantastic with her brown curls. It might have taken her FOREVER to get dressed, but I have to admit, she does look great.

Fifteen minutes later we're all in the back seat of an Uber and are well on our way to meet up with Marcus. I text him to let him know that we're close.

Kat- Hey, we should be there in about ten minutes. We're running a little late!

Marcus- Lucy?

Kat- Lucy. I'll see you soon.

It isn't until we are out of the car and lining up to get into the club that it hits me. I slap myself in the forehead and groan.novelbin

"Shit. I'm an idiot." I groan out.

"Do not harm yourself. What is wrong?” Ashton asks kindly. He catches my wrist and holds it gently, to stop me hitting myself again? That's kind of adorable. Lucy is watching the interaction with far more amusement than I appreciate. "I totally forgot that you need I.D. to get in here. An identification card, like a drivers licence or passport. I assume you don't have something like that. They're never going to let you in. This whole trip was a waste of time!"