Brothers of Paradise Series

I inch closer, made braver by drink and attention. “Did I ruin your game with the blonde?”

He’s annoyed, but he’s surprised, too. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

It’s been ages since he’s been this standoffish with me. It used to be more often, when we were younger. When I pried too much or I got too close. But it hasn’t happened in a long while.

“Good God,” I say, letting my hand trail closer to where his rests on the couch between us. “Not even Parker was this hard to charm.”

“Of course not. You have your brothers wrapped around your little finger.”

I glance back at him. He looks exasperated, his amber eyes glittering.

“But not you?”

“No,” he says. “I like to think I have a bit more willpower.”

“An illusion,” I tease.

“Most likely.”

His eyes fall to my hair. It’s a curtain of dark red silk around me, none of the usual waves and bobs it carries.

“You don’t look like you,” he says. A hand reaches up and traces a long strand of my sleek hair.

“Do you like it?”

“No.” A long pause. “Yes.”

“I’m still me,” I say. “And you’re still you. Even if we’re at a party.”

His eyes find mine again, his hand still lost in my hair. I watch as they shutter. Slowly, he withdraws his hand. “Yeah. Why did you come, Lily?”

“I wanted to party.”

“You’ve never been interested before.”

“I’m not allowed to change my mind?”

“Of course you are.” He takes a sip of his beer and looks out over the crowd. “But you’re too good for this sort of thing. For Turner.”

Oh, not this. “Don’t.”

“What?”

“I’m tired of being put on some pedestal. I can take it from my brothers, but not from you.”

His eyes slide back to mine. “But not from me?”

“No.” Maybe it’s the drink, or the tight dress I’m wearing, or the way he’s looking at me-but I feel brave. “I don’t want you to see me as a little girl in need of protecting.”

Hayden’s eyes darken, and for just a moment, I can read them clear as day. He’s my Hayden again. “I don’t see you that way. You know I don’t, Lils.”

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He glances away, out over the crowd of people. I can see his jaw working, clenching and unclenching. Whatever is eating at him, it’s deep.

His voice is low when he finally speaks. “But… maybe I should.”

Whatever hope I’d harbored before is now a flame, a wildfire, and I can barely get the words out. “Why?” I breathe. “We can be whatever we want to be.”

“We?”

I meet his gaze head-on. He’s being evasive, and we both know it. There’s been a we since we were eleven and twelve, with bruised knees and dirt under our fingernails.

“Yes,” I repeat. “We.”

An odd emotion flickers through his eyes. It looks like regret and longing and something else, something soft and fragile that I’ve never seen before.

But when he speaks, his voice is hard like a whip. “We’ll never be a we.”

Fine.

I know when I’m not wanted-and I can’t handle any more humiliation doled out by Hayden Cole. I’ve reached my limit.

Grabbing the bottle of whiskey, I brush my straightened hair back and get up from the couch. I should find Jamie and make sure she’s all right.

“Suit yourself,” I tell him.

Hayden’s hand reaches out and grabs my wrist, quick as a snake. “Where are you going?”

I shake off his touch. “To dance. To drink. Isn’t that what you do at these parties?”

He runs a hand through his hair. I don’t see the Hayden I used to know-not here in this smoke-filled house. “Fuck, Lily, do you have to be here? Can’t you just go home? I get if you don’t want to do it for Parker, but would you do it for me?”

The request hurts.

“If I won’t do it for my brother, why would I do it for you?”

Hayden doesn’t respond, just staring at me with those dark, judging eyes.

“I’ll go find Parker. Go have fun with your girl. Blair, was it? Or Belinda?”

Not waiting for his response, I hurry from the living room and into the crowd of moving bodies.

“That’s not true.”

“Of course it is,” Jamie scoffs. “How else do you think the water polo team gets all that funding?”

Parker shakes his head. “Because we’re a good team. A great one, even.”