Bullied

? I’ve found no cure

for the loneliness,

I’ve found no cure

for the sickness.

Nothing here feels like home,

Crowded streets but I’m all alone?

HOME- X AMBASSADORS, MACHINE GUN KELLY & BEBE REXHA.

” Iris? honey you awake?” Clement’s mom, Mrs Phoebe calls out as she opens my bedroom door by a squeak for fear of waking me if I wasn’t already up.

But I have been up for the past two hours. The discomfort is killing me.

“yeah I am, good morning Mrs Phoebe” came my airy response as I tried to get up from my lying position.

keyword Tried.

She made three quick strides into the room and used two hands to drag my heavy butt off the bed.

Meanwhile I ignore the snap in my belly for the second time this morning.

” I’ve told you it’s Phoebe and you need to reduce stress on your belly, seven months might be far gone but it is still risky ” placing a hand at my lower back to help restore my balance.

Okay, some of you might be thinking ‘why would a lady take a pregnant girl under her roof without questions?”

Well here’s a brief explanation.

Clement and his Mom though separated, are still very close to each other, so he had a few discussions with her about me… to which I found very uncomfortable… before we ever planned on moving me here.

According to her, she says he tells her everything. So when he had a socially withdrawn female friend, he had to tell her too.

Honestly, I admire their relationship, unlike my parents who haven’t tried contacting me for the past few months cause I needed space.

” Okay, but I want to take a shower ” if I go without taking a bath, I’m going to stink.

” I’ll help with that. Are you feeling any cramps?”

“yeah, a lot”

” Then a hot shower it is ” and we take slug steps to the bathroom.

I’m feeling something, yeah I’m hungry.

what to eat, what to eat?

Bread and Jam? …. no.

pasta?…. no.

burger seems nice…. nah…

Aha!

“Mrs Phoebe?”

And my call earned me a glare.

” Sorry, ph-phoebe?”

“yes dear?”

“can I have ice cream after the shower?” my shy attribute taking over.

” a cold and sugary treat for a lady to be due in less than ten weeks, hmmm”

She halts in step for a few seconds.

” you know sugar isn’t healthy for you at the moment right?” she asks with a casual tone and I nodded my reply

” neither is it good for the baby” she speaks on as I bob my head in response again already regretting why I asked.

” so why should I give it to you?”

To me that question should be rhetorical but it isn’t cause she’s looking at me like she expects an answer.

” I’m sorry I asked” my eyes finding the carpeted ground a solace for comfort.

She releases a sigh ” Iris no need to apologize, okay if it’s ice cream you want then you clean up first then come down for ice cream, plus we have a little to talk about ”

I mouthed a thank you with a small smile on my lips as the enthusiasm began to fill me.

A broad smile dances on her face as we continue our movement to the bathroom.

Sitting me down on the toilet she hands me my toothbrush already smeared with paste and has the shower running.

” be quick alright?” as she places a peck on my forehead

“okay”.

******

After I was done taking a shower and drying myself up, I put on an oversized purple shirt and a black leggings.

At this point oversized is the most comfortable.This content belongs to Nô/velDra/ma.Org .

Trying to pack my hair in a bun in front of the mirror as I took note of my pale complexion and swollen fingers.

just nine weeks and two days to go.

Abandoning the hair as I had already given up, I skidded downstairs.

” well that took a whole year” Mrs Phoebe chuckled as she dropped a medium sized bowl of cookie dough ice cream in my front.

I couldn’t help but squeal. If this is what pregnancy does to you, this is definitely going to be my last child.

” Look at you all baby-ing up” a loud laughter escape two of us and she speaks up to clear the air ” have a seat darling ”

Climbing the stool and ripping off the lid of the bowl, I prepare myself for the news about to be told.

Phoebe clears up her throat and stretches to reach a mug of latte i just noticed.

” Iris, Meredith called early this morning ”

Okay, no bad news so far.

” And she was with Megan ”

keep going.

” And they told me something, something really important ”

where are we headed.

” A few minutes later, after we went off the call…… your parents called”

The spoon in my hand slipped off the counter onto the floor.

” And here’s the something important I was informed about. Your parents don’t know you’re pregnant?” she takes a seat across the table and drop her cup like it’s pulling weight on the conversation.

” Megan and Meredith begged me not to tell your parents too, And when your parents called they were asking to know if you’ll ever return to them”

” Did you tell them?” the point of this talk was to tell me they’ve been informed isn’t it?

” No, no I didn’t ”

I released a breath I never realized I was holding.

” I didn’t because you’re gonna tell them yourself ”

And the glass of my psychology just shattered.

” Why should I? it’s not like they’re bothered much about me”

” That’s where you’re wrong. Meredith said that your parents have been pestering them so they could speak to you, just to hear your voice and they felt guilty doing that to them so they gave them my number since you would never answer their calls”

“that doesn’t prove they care”

” when your mom was speaking, she sounded in tears, she pleaded with me to speak to you but I lied you weren’t nearby just to buy me some time to talk to you about it first ”

” mom doesn’t care, she’s always putting on that crying facade just to get me to open up ”

” and when she does that, have you ever opened up and then regretted it?”

” I’ve opened up before and I did ”

” Iris you’re talking like people don’t make mistakes anymore. Your parents made a mistake and they’re trying to make amends. Nobody is perfect ”

” they used to be perfect ”

” And a single mistake is enough to destroy the reputation of your childhood heroes?”

” They put their money before me, it almost cost me my life on many occasions, now I’m pregnant and you expect me to forgive them?”

” That was their mistake and a very stupid one at that”

” I might never go back to them”

” The day Clement and the girls brought you here, the night before they left, they begged me for one thing ”

” And that is?”

” To make you see reasons to why you should let your parents in ”

Those betrayals !

” I promised them i would. Even your friends know that shutting them out isn’t the best”

” what were you expecting me to do?”

” In my course of helping you and trying to fulfill my promise, You told me a lot about your life and parents, You told me that your mom kept coming to your room to ask how your day went, you told me your dad tried to get you talking to him and sometimes offered you rides to school which you declined ”

‘ they only did that to cover up the fact that they couldn’t save me cause of money ”

” the exact same money they lavish on you, baby girl your parents never stopped caring. The only problem was they thought they were doing things for you not knowing they were only hurting you ”

” you’re lying. they stopped caring long ago”

” If they did they wouldn’t have stayed by your side all through the time you went unconscious because you tried to take your own life, they wouldn’t have begged Meredith to keep you at home after recovery so thet can have a chance to speak to you, they wouldn’t have asked you to open up, they wouldn’t have cared about the friends you’re making and wanting to know them. Iris they made a mistake and they realized it really late but they have been trying to fix it but you’re not letting them. ”

“If I ever made a mistake with Clement and he shuts me out, I’ll literally lose my mind. You know why? Because Clement is my kid, my only one at that, he is the only one that can be a living proof to whether i have failed in my duty as a parent or not and when he proves to me that I’ve failed i will try my best to make my ways straight because I love him. But when he shuts me out it will seem to me like i have failed forever ” she continues and it’s causing a twinge in my chest.

” That’s the whole point, they don’t love me !”

” Iris, do you miss your former family? before you moved here? before your parents made a the money?”

I nodded because it is true. I miss everything.

” Then why aren’t you giving them a chance to correct where they’ve been wrong? they’ve never hurt you before, why do you think they will start that intentionally?”

I had no answer to that. Because I have no clue.

” If you ask me, I’ll say your parents love you, but it’s you who doesn’t love them back. You don’t love them enough because if you did you won’t want to revenge on them by running away. You’ll give them a chance to speak to you, to hear you, to hold you once again. Think about this, you’ll be a mom soon, Imagine if after suffering for all these months trying to be safe for the baby, almost dying on the bed just to see his or her beautiful face be born. Then you make a mistake and he or she never wants to have anything to do with you anymore? I’m a mother and I know how your mom especially, must feel”

She uses her thumb to wipe Beneath my eye.

” think about it ” were her last words and she got up with her cup to go up the steps.

It was only then that I realized I was crying.

°°°°°°°

” Should I come with you?” Phoebe asked as she parked the car on the lawn.

” No thanks. I want to do this alone ” I said with a deep breath and glanced at the door of the building.

It was seven PM at night and the lights were on.

That means their home.

” I’m proud of you hun” She whispered and gave my hand a tight squeeze before placing a kiss to it.

” you’ll do fine okay? call me afterwards ” she concluded

With a wry smile shielded by nervousness and a brief hug, I was out of her car and waving her a goodbye.

She drives off at a slow speed as if expecting me to change my mind, but no. I wouldn’t.

I swallowed a huge lump of air to numb the butterflies in my stomach but that made little difference.

I headed to the front door and pressed the doorbell for two seconds before tapping a few knocks on the door.

A total of fifteen seconds passed – yes I was counting – before shuffling was heard behind the door.

It’s now or never.

The door opened revealing my mom with her long silk nightgown.

Her eyes widened an inch when she saw who was by the door, but added another three inches when she noticed my swollen belly.

But she did the unexpected.

She pulled me into a hug.

” my baby….. my baby you- you came back” she said so lowly as her eyes began producing tears.

She pushed me back a few centimeters but still held me with her arms before looking at me from head to toe again.

” Tom! Tom iris is back, honey she came back ” her tears on full tow now.

I used this chance to observe her features and she looked a lot different from the last time we saw.

She has a lot of grey hair sticking out in so many directions, her eyes look swollen like she had been crying for days coupled with the eye bags.

That was the moment Dad appeared my the door.

The shock of my stomach evident on his face but the relief of seeing me seemed better to him.

My dad had developed wrinkles on his face like he aged a lot within these few months.

“Sweetie?” that was my dad speaking. His voice shakey as he sounds like he is waiting for my rejection.

“y-yes dad” the tears are on the way.

” My God” was all dad said and pulled me to a hug too.

” Honey we’re so sorry, please. we’re begging you to please forgive us” Dad mumbled into my hair and mom had joined into the hug, her sobs drenching my shirt but I don’t care.

” forgive us please ” mom managed to blurt out between sobs.

“o-okay mama, I-I’m sorry too, for shutting you guys out, for hurting you. I’m so sorry. Forgive me please” my words heavy as my tears won’t let me.

” Okay baby. It’s okay. Welcome back home ” Dad cooed and rubbed my back in a circular pattern as I cried into his chest.

And that day, my house became my Home once more.