JUNE BREAK

I lay on the ground as pain pinch deep at me. I can’t seem to wrap my head around everything that took place tonight.

No, he didn’t beat me which would have been more preferable.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

Louise suddenly became a monster that night. I have never seen this particular side of him before.

He asked who Philip was and I told him that he was the guy who gave me a lift.

He called me a liar, said all kinds of things plus more name calling.

When I couldn’t stand the whole thing I asked about the lady he brought home over the weekend.

He was yet to tell me who Miranda really was.

Louise said he had already told me that she is Miranda and that is all the explanation he has for me. . he owns me no further thing.

In return I also told him that I have given him enough explanation on Louise, I don’t own him anything again.

He got angry and began calling me names but I did not care.

He asked me how many times I have slept with Louise. I didn’t reply until the third time when he barked at me with the same question.

I replied that i was only meeting Philip for the first time that night and haven’t slept with him or anyone in question.

He called me a liar again and alot of other demeaning names.

He grabbed my handbag, opened it and emptied everything inside it on the ground.

He saw Louise business card and tore it into tiny pieces.

He took my phone and began to check when he didn’t see anything he threw it on a chair.

I was just sitting when all of this was going on.

I decided to go refresh, check if there’s anything to eat before going to bed.

Louise kept on calling me a liar, saying I was sleeping with other men but denying him anytime he try to touch me.

I totally ignored him and was about to leave the sitting room, he pounced on me like a prey.

Trying to force me to the ground. I fought hard and refused to get down.

I spat on his face, he cursed and strike me on the shoulder.

I lost balance and fell to the ground.

He pinned me down and try to pull off my clothes.

Looking into his eyes with shock, I saw a different being. that was when I knew Louise was seriously going to do whatever he wants to do with me.

I began to plead, he was stronger than I am and there was no way I was going to defeat him and run away.

He succeeded in shredding my top. I try to resist him, I was literally begging Louise not to force himself on me rather he should calm down and give me two to three days and I will fully give him my body.

By then I will be emotional and mentally ready for it.

Louise wasn’t listening to anything that I was saying at that moment.

I stopped fighting or struggling with him. I was exhausted from it all.

I was in serious pain, I thought I was going to pass out at that moment.

He was panting so hard like somebody on a marathon race when he stood up from me.

I couldn’t look at his face, I shut my eyes and lay there silently.

I was no longing screaming in pain, I weep silently wishing for many things.

Maybe I could have stayed back home and suffer the rejection and ill treatment from my parents and siblings. Maybe I shouldn’t have run away from the house. Right now is obvious I made the wrong choice. Ending up with Louise whom I thought truly care and ready to protect me at all cost, he has hurt me too deep, beyond repair.

If my parents were good to me without playing the game of politics at home I would have still be home and probably in University by now.

If they have loved me even little I wouldn’t have had any reason to leave.

They cherished and care more for Rachel. I was invisible and treated like a maid in my own home.

If my parents can treat me like a trash how much more a stranger.

I only expected better, never thought Louise will stoop so low to do this.

Maybe my expectations are too high, that’s why I keep getting hurt.

Why do bad things keep happening to me, is God not watching all of this?

I sat up, unable to move. The pain was excruciating.

I suddenly started crying again.

“I’m sorry April…”

Wow, that was the first word that came out of Louise stinking mouth

It was very interesting to hear because sorry was meant to fix everything.

Sorry was supposed to repair, undo all of this.

How I wish it works that way. Because saying sorry makes it even worst.

He continued

“… April, please… I’m sorry. I thought you were lying? I thought you were seeing another guy and already sleeping with him and you wouldn’t let me touch you…”

He try to move closer, I flinch in fear which made him pause.

“… I’m not a bad guy. I love and care about you April. No other woman matters to me like you do. I wanted to keep it that way… never in my entire life did I think I was going to hurt you. It was not intentional April. I’m deeply sorry… please find a place in your heart to forgive me…”

He coughed gently, acting like he was going to cry.

“… I don’t know what I will do if you don’t forgive me. I can’t live with myself. I’m so sorry. I truly love you and I promise to do whatever it takes to make it right. Please… forgive me April…”

What can he do that will make every wrong thing he did tonight right?

That was a total nonsense and it would have been far better if he had shut up.

I ignored as I managed to get up from the ground. I dragged myself to the bathroom, locked myself up and remain there.