Knot Happening Again (Claimverse Book 2)

Bam.

Bam.

Bam.

My fists slam into the punching bag, each impact registering on the digital display. The numbers flash, mocking me.

Not good enough.

Never good enough.

I grit my teeth, muscles burning as I push harder. Sweat drips down my face, stinging my eyes. The bag swings wildly, but I don’t let up. Can’t let up. There’s a fight coming, and I need to be ready.

But my head’s not in it.

Hasn’t been for weeks.

‘You’re distracted.’

Mace’s gruff voice cuts through the rhythmic thuds. I don’t stop punching, but I feel his eyes on me, assessing.

‘I’m fine,’ I grunt, landing another solid hit. The force meter spikes, but it’s still not my best.

‘Bullshit.’ Mace steps closer, his bulk blocking out the afternoon sun streaming through the windows. He’s as tall as I am at six-foot-five, but even though he was also an MMA fighter before a knee injury ended his career as a fighter and segued into coaching, all those years of muscle have been buried under a thick layer of insulation. Everything but his broad, muscular arms that could probably snap a literal tree in half. ‘You’ve been off your game for days. What’s going on?’

I wipe a few strands of sweat drenched bone white hair out of my eyes and I throw one last punch, harder than the others. The bag swings back, nearly smacking me in the face. I catch it, chest heaving.

‘It’s nothing.’

Mace crosses his arms over his padded middle, unimpressed. ‘Try again.’

I sigh, grabbing a towel to wipe my face. ‘Rhys has been talking about getting an omega again.’

‘And that’s bad because…?’

My jaw clenches. I can’t tell him.

I’ve never told another soul about Ophelia.

About what I did.

Not unless you count the endless string of private detectives I’ve hired in a vain attempt to track her down.

Not even my own pack.

No, especially not them. Not Mace, the trainer who’s been with me since long before my new name on a billboard was enough to draw thousands of eager observers to my fights. Not even Rhys, my bond brother.

How could I tell any of them the truth?

It’s been so long. Back then, it was out of cowardice and shame, but now…

Now, I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

‘It’s a girl, isn’t it?’ he mutters in a knowing tone.

I freeze, staring up at the burly alpha. I’m not surprised he’s sussed out that much. He knows me better than anyone, except Rhys. But I am surprised he’s coming right out and asking. Talking really isn’t our thing. At least, not about sensitive subjects. Definitely not sensitive subjects that involve feelings.

I could lie to him. Could deny it. But for one thing, he’d see right through it. He knows me too well. And for another, it feels like another wave of betrayal. Another disservice to the woman I owe everything and left with nothing.

But that’s exactly what I was back then.

Nothing.

Nothing but an arrogant trust fund brat with big dreams and an even more outlandish ego, trying to make it out of his family’s illustrious shadow.

Seven years and I’ve done a hell of a lot more than that. I’ve sold out arenas around the world and graced the covers of every MMA and sports magazine that’s worth putting on a shelf, but what the fuck does any of it matter without her?

It’s as if the sins of my past are a black hole, sucking in every accomplishment and possession I’ve acquired since, rendering it all meaningless. Everything except a pack that would rightfully hate me—and probably cast me out—if they knew the truth.

‘Yeah,’ I say quietly. ‘It is.’

‘You wanna talk about it?’ he offers, clearly as uncomfortable with the whole feelings thing as I am. But the fact that he’s even willing to go there is proof enough that I haven’t been acting myself. At least, not the version I let him and the rest of the world see.

‘Not really,’ I admit. It’s not that there’s nothing to say. It’s just that I don’t know how to bridge the gap between the version of me he knows and the one who did… that.

I’ve managed to get through most of my adult life by pretending the one never existed.

‘Well, something’s gotta change,’ he says gruffly, leaning on the ropes. ‘It’s clear it’s been eating at you.’

I guess I haven’t been doing as good of a job hiding it as I expected. You’d think some things would get easier after the better part of a decade, but lies don’t strengthen with age. They turn brittle. And my cracks are starting to show.

Especially this close to the anniversary of the day I left.

‘There’s not much to say,’ I answer with a shrug. What’s one more bald faced lie in the scheme of things? ‘I fucked it up about as badly as an alpha can fuck anything up.’

He considers that in silence. ‘Did you ever try to find her? Make it right?’

I let out a bitter laugh. ‘What do you think? Of course I did. But it’s like she vanished into thin air. None of her family would tell me where she went or even return my phone calls. Can’t say I blame them, either.’

The memories come flooding back, unbidden. Ophelia’s smile, bright as sunshine. The way her blue eyes sparkled when she laughed. The softness of her skin under my fingertips.

And then… the mark.

My teeth sinking into her flesh, claiming her as mine. The intoxicating rush of her scent, the way she cried out my name.

I left her the next morning. Walked away without a word, like a goddamn coward.

‘I fucked up, Mace,’ I whisper, the words tasting like ash in my mouth. ‘I fucked up so bad.’

Mace doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to. I know there’s nothing that can make this right. Not unless I somehow manage to find her after all these years.

But even if I do, I’m a part of a pack now. A bonded pack. She wouldn’t just have to accept me, but them, too. And somehow, I doubt she would. It isn’t like I expected it to happen, it just… did.

First came Rhys. He was just a med student then, working as a medic at one of the underground fight clubs I frequented in the early days of my career, back when I was still trying to moonlight as the eldest son of an esteemed family.

We felt it immediately.

That bond that runs deeper than pack.

It’s… brotherhood.

For some alphas, it’s more than that, but for me and Rhys, it’s like being platonic soulmates. The romantic feelings aren’t there, since we’re both exclusively attracted to women, but that doesn’t make it any less intense of a connection than a mating bond. We wear each other’s mark, we lead the pack together, we share a home and a life. Hell, I even decided we should share his last name when my family turned their backs on me. Felt like I might as well start over, considering I was a new person anyway. Physical intimacy is the one thing we’ve never shared.

That and an omega.

But that’s on my account, not his. And after seven years, I’m running out of excuses. Running out of ways to avoid telling him that I can’t—won’t—let myself go there with anyone else.

Mace joined us not long after Rhys and I found each other. And even though he and I definitely didn’t share the same deep bond of brotherhood Rhys and I felt from the moment we met, he quickly became one of my best friends. We were about as physically different as two people could be, me with a lean, muscular build, tan skin, and shock white hair, and him with his big teddy bear build, chestnut hair and blue eyes, but we were pack all the same.

Then there was Maddox, the easygoing beta who would eventually become my manager, and finally, Troy. He was… something else entirely.

A lot of somethings, actually, and most of them profane, but every pack needs its black sheep.

It was one thing when it was just me, but now I’m part of a unit. The connection between bonded alphas might look different from the bond between an alpha and an omega, but it’s still permanent.

And even if I did manage to find Ophelia, even if she was willing to accept me and my pack…

What could I really offer her?

The pack would embrace her, I know that, but she isn’t my scent match. Which means she isn’t our scent match. Not all packs are even lucky enough to have one, as rare as omegas are, but what if we do? What if Rhys goes out to work one day or to the store and catches a whiff of the omega we were all destined to share? I’m going to have to come clean and tell them I have no intention of claiming the new one. Or any omega other than the one I betrayed and abandoned in the worst possible way.

But would she ever believe that?

And the others… would they be willing to make the same sacrifice for a woman they’ve never even met?

A woman they don’t even know exists.

I turn back to the punching bag, desperate to lose myself in the burn of exertion. But with every hit, I see her face in the back of my mind, staring me down in well deserved judgment. With every impact, I hear her voice.

‘What am I supposed to do?’ I mutter, not really expecting an answer. ‘Rhys wants an omega. The pack needs an omega. But how can I…’

The words trail off.

How can I bring another omega into our lives when I’m still haunted by the one I left behind?

Mace sighs heavily. ‘I don’t know what happened, and I’m pretty damn sure you’re not talkin’ anytime soon, but I do know one thing. You can’t keep punishing yourself forever, Leon. What’s done is done.’

‘Easy for you to say,’ I snap, immediately regretting it. ‘Sorry. I just… I can’t shake this feeling that I need to make it right somehow.’

‘And how exactly do you plan on doing that?’ Mace asks, his tone gentle but firm. ‘You said it yourself, you can’t find her. Maybe it’s time to let go.’

I shake my head, frustration bubbling up inside me. ‘I can’t. Every time I close my eyes, I see her. Every time Rhys brings up getting an omega, I think about…’ I trail off, knowing I’m at risk of saying too much.

Mace is quiet for a long moment. When he speaks again, his voice is low and serious. ‘You were young, Leon. You made a mistake. A big one, yeah, but you can’t change the past. All you can do is learn from it and try to be better.’

He’s wrong. And if he had any idea the full extent of what I’ve done, that it wasn’t just an ugly breakup born of another immature alpha’s ego, he wouldn’t feel that way. But even now, I can’t bring myself to say it.

To face that shame.

The guilt.

‘I just wish I knew she was okay,’ I murmur, more to myself than to Mace. ‘That she found someone else.’

The thought is enough to drive me insane, but I’m not quite selfish enough to hope that she’s been celibate this entire time like I have. At the very least, I hope she found someone to break the mark.

An alpha to give her what I couldn’t.

Maybe even her scent match.

Even if the thought claws at my insides like a ravenous beast trying to break out of its cage.

Mace puts a hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. ‘You can’t control that. All you can do is focus on the here and now. You’ve got a big fight coming up, and a pack that needs you. Don’t let the ghosts of your past hold you back.’

I nod, taking a deep breath. He’s right about that, at least. I can’t change what happened with Ophelia if I can’t even track her down, but I can try to be the alpha my pack deserves.

I pause for a moment, studying the burlier alpha. ‘You think he’s right, don’t you? That we need an omega.’

Mace snorts, his usual gruff manner on full display. ‘I’m an alpha. We need omegas. Betas, too, for that matter. Just in a different way.’

I can’t help but roll my eyes. ‘Rhys has gotten to you.’

He chuckles, a deep rumble that shakes his massive frame. ‘He’s persuasive, but not as persuasive as mother nature.’ His expression sobers, eyes meeting mine with an intensity that makes me want to look away. ‘Look, I don’t really get the whole bond brother thing you and Rhys have going on. Never have. But I know enough about relationships in general that you can’t build them on lies.’

The words hit me like a punch to the gut, harder than any I’ve thrown at the bag today. My throat tightens, guilt clawing its way up from the pit of my stomach.

‘You don’t have to tell me everything right now, but you need to tell the others eventually,’ Mace continues, his voice low and serious. ‘At least Rhys. He deserves to know the truth. Especially if it’s holding us back from moving forward with this as a pack.’

I nod, unable to form words around the lump in my throat. He’s right. Of course he’s right. I’ve known it for years, but hearing it spoken aloud makes it impossible to ignore.

‘I know,’ I finally manage to croak out.

Mace nods, seemingly satisfied for now. He claps me on the shoulder, his hand lingering for a moment in a gesture of silent support. Then he turns and lumbers off, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the faint smell of sweat and leather.

I head for the showers, stripping off my sweat-soaked clothes and stepping under the hot spray. The water pounds against my skin, but it does nothing to wash away the weight of my guilt.

As I soap up, my mind races.

How do I even begin to tell Rhys?

How do I look into those warm brown eyes and admit that I’ve been lying to him since the day we met?

That I abandoned an omega I’d partially marked?

The thought of losing him, of losing the pack we’ve built together, makes my chest constrict. But the alternative—continuing to live with this secret eating away at me—is unbearable.

I rinse off and step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my waist. As I wipe the steam from the mirror, I stare at my reflection. The man looking back at me is successful, respected.

World champion fighter.

Pack leader.

Underneath it all, I’m still that scared kid who ran away from his responsibilities. But it’s time to face the music.

I can’t keep running forever.

I dress quickly, my mind made up.

Tonight. I’ll tell Rhys tonight.

I head downstairs, my heart pounding in my chest. The weight of my decision sits heavy on my shoulders, but I know it’s time. Rhys deserves the truth, no matter how much it might hurt us both.

The sound of tires on gravel catches my attention. I glance out the window to see Rhys’s sleek sports car pulling into the driveway of the pack mansion.

Three stories of modern architecture sprawl across five acres, all clean lines and floor-to-ceiling windows. The gym wing alone spans half a football field, complete with a professional-grade octagon and state-of-the-art equipment.

The main living area flows from room to room in an open concept design that cost more than most people make in a decade. Italian marble floors, custom furniture, and a kitchen that would make a Michelin chef weep. But it’s the little touches that make it home. Troy’s music equipment scattered in the den, Maddox’s industry magazines on every surface, Mace’s protein shake containers perpetually filling the dishwasher, and Rhys’s medical journals stacked neatly on his desk in the study.

Five bedrooms occupy the top floor—one for each of us—plus three guest rooms. And an empty omega suite that Rhys insisted on including when we renovated last year.

The one I pretended not to notice as it was being built.

My gaze drifts to the infinity pool stretching toward the city skyline. Even with all this luxury, something vital is missing.

Someone.

Rhys breezes past the entryway, literally running into me in his rush.

‘Whoa there, Doc,’ I say, managing a smile despite my nerves. ‘Where’s the fire?’

Rhys looks up at me, his warm brown eyes crinkling at the corners as he grins. His long auburn hair is slightly mussed, like he’s been running his fingers through it all day. ‘Sorry. I’m a bit scattered today.’

‘Sorry I’m later than usual,’ I say, even though the fact that he’s still in his coat suggests I’m not the only one.

‘Don’t be, I just got in,’ he says, confirming my suspicion as he shrugs off his coat. ‘One of my patients went into false labor again. Third time this month.’

A familiar tension coils in my gut at the reminder of what Rhys does for a living. It’s not just that he’s a doctor. He’s one of the foremost experts in omega care and obstetrics in the country.

The guilt that’s been gnawing at me all day intensifies. Here I am, about to confess to abandoning a partially marked omega, while my bond mate dedicates his life to caring for them.

And longs for one to call his own.

‘Everything okay?’ I ask, forcing my voice to remain steady.

Rhys nods, running a hand through his hair. ‘Yeah, she’s fine. Just anxious, poor thing. It’s her first baby.’

I swallow hard, pushing down the lump in my throat. ‘Listen, Rhys, I was wondering…’

He looks at me expectantly, his eyes so full of trust and affection. It makes what I’m about to do even harder.

‘What’s for dinner?’ he offers before I can continue. ‘Me, too. I’m starving.’

I clear my throat. ‘Actually, Maddox is busy tonight, so he didn’t cook. I was thinking maybe we could go out? Just the two of us? We’ve both been so busy lately, it might be nice to catch up.’

Rhys’s face lights up. ‘That sounds perfect. Give me a second to change out of these scrubs?’

I nod, forcing a smile. ‘Take your time. I’ll be here.’

As Rhys heads upstairs, I sink onto the couch, my head in my hands. The weight of what I’m about to do threatens to crush me. How do I even begin to explain? How do I tell Rhys I’ve been lying to him since the day we met?

I think about Ophelia, about the pain I must have caused her. Then I think about Rhys, the pack we’ve formed together.NôvelDrama.Org owns this.

I’m about to risk it all.

But I have to. I can’t keep living with this secret. I can’t keep pretending to be someone I’m not.

I hear Rhys’s footsteps on the stairs and I stand, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans. This is it. No turning back now.

As he comes into view in a crisp button-down and slacks, I steel myself. Whatever happens next, I know one thing for certain: our lives will never be the same after tonight.

As we step out into the cool evening air, I can’t help but feel a sense of dread settling in my stomach. The weight of my impending confession hangs heavy between us, even as Rhys talks about his day, oblivious to the storm brewing inside me.

We climb into my car, a sleek black sports car that still smells faintly of new leather. As I start the engine, Rhys falls silent, his expression suddenly pensive.

‘Leon,’ he says, his voice uncharacteristically hesitant. ‘There’s actually something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about. To the whole pack, really, but… I think we should discuss it first.’

My heart skips a beat. ‘Oh?’ I manage, trying to keep my voice steady. ‘What is it?’

Rhys shakes his head, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. ‘Not until dinner. And wine. Definitely wine.’

I don’t argue. Truth be told, I could use a drink or two myself before dropping my bombshell. ‘Alright,’ I agree, pulling out of the driveway. ‘Dinner and wine it is.’

The drive to the restaurant is quiet, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I can’t help but wonder what Rhys wants to talk about. Is it about the omega situation?

Has he sensed my reluctance?

Or is it something else entirely?

We arrive at the restaurant, a cozy pub we’ve been to a thousand times before. As we’re seated at a booth in the back, I can’t help but think this might be the last time he ever looks at me as anything other than a monster.

We order drinks—a bold red wine for me, a crisp white for Rhys—and some appetizers. As we wait, the tension between us is palpable. We both open our mouths to speak at the same time, then stop, laughing nervously.

I swallow hard, my mouth suddenly dry. ‘You first,’ I manage, reaching for my wine glass. ‘Whatever you have to say, it can’t be worse than what I need to tell you.’

Rhys raises an eyebrow at that, but doesn’t push. Instead, he reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a glossy brochure. He slides it across the table to me, his fingers lingering on the paper for a moment.

‘I know things have been… tense lately,’ he says softly. ‘And I know you’re not sure about bringing an omega into the pack. But I think I might have found a compromise. Something that could work for all of us.’

I frown, confused. I pick up the brochure, my eyes widening as I look at the sleek, modern logo on the front. It’s a group of four alphas in silhouette, surrounded by the omega symbol tying them all together. A bit on the nose, but it gets the point across, I guess. ‘Temporary Bonds?’ I ask, looking up at Rhys. ‘What is this?’

Rhys leans forward, his eyes bright with excitement. ‘It’s a new agency,’ he explains. ‘They specialize in matching unmated omegas with compatible alphas or packs for short-term arrangements. Mostly to help omegas through difficult heats, but also for alphas who aren’t ready for a permanent commitment.’

I flip open the brochure, my mind reeling. The inside is filled with glossy photos of smiling omegas and alphas, along with testimonials and descriptions of services. It all looks very professional, very above-board.

But still…

‘I don’t understand,’ I say, looking back up at Rhys. ‘You want us to… what? Rent an omega?’

Rhys winces at my choice of words. ‘That’s not… It’s not like that, Leon. It’s more like a trial period. A chance for us to see what it would be like to have an omega in the pack, without the pressure of a permanent bond.’

I stare at him, speechless. This is so far from what I was expecting, I don’t even know how to process it. Part of me is relieved. This is easier to deal with than him coming home and announcing he finally met our scent match.

But another part of me is terrified.

Because if he does this, if he brings an omega into our lives, even temporarily…

The thought makes my head spin. I reach for my wine, taking a long swig to buy myself some time. When I set the glass down, Rhys is watching me intently, his expression a mix of hope and anxiety.

‘Say something,’ he urges. ‘What do you think?’

I open my mouth, but no words come out. How can I possibly explain the storm of emotions raging inside me? How can I tell him that the idea of bringing an omega into our pack—any omega—fills me with dread and guilt?

Because even now, after all these years, my inner alpha rages against the thought of any omega other than the one we partially claimed.

The words I’ve been rehearsing all day are right there on the tip of my tongue, but now that the moment has arrived, my courage has deserted me. Rhys’s eyes are so full of hope. How can I possibly crush that with my confession?

‘I…’ I start, then falter. The weight of my secret feels like it’s crushing me, but I can’t bring myself to let it go. Not now. Not when Rhys looks so happy. ‘I guess we could give it a shot. If the others are on board,’ I add quickly.

Maybe that will be my saving grace. Getting this pack to agree on anything will be a multi-year undertaking at best.

The words still taste like ash in my mouth, but the way Rhys’s face lights up almost makes it worth it.

Almost.

‘Really?’ he asks, leaning forward. ‘You’re serious?’

I nod, forcing a smile. ‘Yeah. I mean, it’s only temporary, right? Maybe it’ll… get it out of your system.’

It’s not like he hasn’t been with omegas before. Everyone in the pack is free to see who they like romantically, until we all agree on someone, or until one of us meets our scent match. And sure, I may be hellbent on sabotaging either of those potentialities, but so far, I haven’t had to. The others’ tastes are about as divergent as possible.

So far, no one’s made the cut.

As soon as the words leave my mouth, though, I regret them. Rhys’s expression falters for a moment, a flicker of hurt crossing his features before he schools them back into a smile.

‘Out of my system?’ he repeats, his voice carefully neutral. ‘Is that what you think this is?’

I backpedal quickly. ‘No, that’s not what I meant. I just… I know how much you want this, Rhys. And I want you to be happy. If this is what it takes, then I’m willing to try.’

It’s another damn lie. But what else is new?

Rhys studies me for a long moment, his eyes searching mine. ‘Are you sure, Leon? Because if you’re not comfortable with this, we don’t have to do it. I don’t want to pressure you into anything.’

The concern in his voice makes my chest ache. He’s always so considerate, so caring. It only makes what I’m doing feel worse.

‘I’m sure,’ I lie again. ‘I think it could be good for the pack. For us. But only if you can all agree on someone. You know I’m not really into casual.’

At least I know that’ll never fucking happen.

Rhys’s smile returns, bright and genuine. ‘Okay,’ he says. ‘We’ll talk to the others when we get home. See what they think.’

I nod, relief washing over me. I’ve dodged the bullet, at least for now. But as Rhys launches into an excited discussion about the agency and how it works, I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve just made a terrible mistake.

‘Oh!’ Rhys says suddenly, cutting himself off mid-sentence. ‘I almost forgot. You said you had something to tell me earlier. Something worse than this, apparently.’ He grins, clearly thinking I was exaggerating. ‘What was it?’

My stomach drops. I’d hoped he’d forgotten about that in all the excitement.

I should have known better.

Rhys never forgets anything.

‘Oh, that,’ I say, trying to sound casual. ‘It’s nothing, really. Just… my next fight got bumped up. I have to leave a little earlier than expected.’

Rhys’s face falls slightly. ‘Oh. How much earlier?’

I shrug, hating myself for piling lie upon lie. ‘Just a few days. It’s not a big deal. I’ll still have plenty of time to train.’

Rhys nods, but I can see the disappointment in his eyes. ‘Well, we’ll just have to make the most of the time we have, won’t we?’

I force another smile, ignoring the way my stomach churns with guilt. ‘Absolutely.’

As we finish our meal and head home, I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve just set something in motion that I won’t be able to stop this time. And I can’t stop thinking about the possibility, however remote, that this omega they meet will be more than a temporary distraction.

What if she smells like Ophelia?

What if she doesn’t?

And what happens when the truth finally comes out?

Because it will.

Secrets like this always do.

I glance over at Rhys as we drive. He’s humming softly to himself, clearly still riding the high of our conversation. I want to salvage what’s left of my chance, to confess everything and beg for forgiveness.

But I don’t.

I keep my hands on the wheel and my mouth shut, driving us home to a future that suddenly seems more uncertain than ever.