Chapter 24 Desire
Chapter 24 Desire
His hands caress my body. They run slowly up my waist and back. They run over my abdomen and my breasts. I feel him everywhere, and I like that. It fascinates me. Combined with the memories of the night before our wedding and this moment, plus the longing I had to see him and know that he came out of the surgery well, the desire I feel is voracious. I need to possess him. I need to feel him everywhere, to feel that I am his and he is mine.
“Easy,” he whispers.
Without knowing how and why, I gently push him to the edge of the bed, still with our mouths entwined and our lips in a dramatic story of unbridled pleasure. We end up lying with our arms and legs entwined. He starts to take off my dress without delicacy. I don’t care what happens and throw it on the floor. I undo the buttons covering Darío’s slightly hairy chest. I am anxious; my hands shake as I hold him for a couple of seconds.
He sighs against my lips.
“No hurry, my beautiful dragonfly. No hurry. I’ve waited too long for this moment,” he murmurs melodiously next to my mouth.
I almost think I melt.
“I want you,” I confess in a voice I almost don’t recognize as my own.
I’m eager to feel him inside me.
How perverse I have become!
I never felt this unbearable rush with Lucian, this out-of-control carnal desire, the trembling in my hands, and how thirsty my lips are. The only thing that can quench this thirst so earthly, so perverse, is Darío’s own mouth. He runs his lips across my cheeks, palpating them as if for the first time.
“I want you too. I did it from day one. I’ve wanted you, and I’ve tried to control myself.”
“Don’t do it anymore.” I take courage and kiss him again. In the meantime, I finish taking off his shirt and throw it somewhere in the room.
He returns each kiss and increases the strength of his grip. The way he bites my lower lip makes me lose control. I climb on his hips and ride him like he’s my steed.
“You’re a fierce one. You got me...” He closes his mouth and purses his lips as he feels me rub against his member. “Oh, God...! If you keep doing that, I won’t be able to do everything I want to you.”
“I’m yours, your wife, and you can do whatever you want to me inside our bedroom.”
“Whenever you want,” he adds with a smile.
“I’m always going to want you.”
“I’m not so sure about that.” His voice breaks, but he clears his throat and continues. “I’m not going to ruin this moment I’ve dreamed of so much.”
“I’m not going to forget about it,” I tell him, so he knows I’ve understood.
I know where his mind is going.
I know what he’s referring to.
And he’s wrong.
My interest in Darío does not lie in whether he can see me or not, because the instant I realized that this man could love me as no one ever had, nor I believe ever will, he gave me unmeasured pleasure, surrender in body and soul. I was with that stranger under the simple moonlight, in complete darkness, with only the stars illuminating our bodies. Even so, without being able to see his face, I knew I could
trust him, that I could spend my life by his side. My heart cried out to me. Knowing that he would be my husband, I could not contain my happiness. However, I realized that there are too many secrets that surround Darío, to the point of him being blind now without knowing the exact reason.
“Later.” He reaches for my lips again.
I move closer to his face to make it easier for our mouths to meet.
I’m left with nothing but my panties and bra, which, without much work, Darío removes and drops it to the floor.
“Desperate?”
“Distressed, eager to have you, to possess you for the first time...”
I stand still, pull away from his lips and look at him, confused.
First time? Doesn’t he remember that we already had a first time? Doesn’t he know that I was the woman he made love to on the shores of Lake Di Tenno?
“Darío...”
“What? What’s wrong? Why are you walking away like that, beautiful?”
“It’s not our first time,” I blurt out after a few long seconds. I try to stay on my feet.
In a way, he knows I’m that young girl who gave him her virginity.
I gave him my virginity, my body! He even took my heart that very night!
What if fate puts you with the same person twice in your life?
That happened to me, and it turns out he doesn’t know.
“Do you think I wouldn’t remember doing it? On our wedding night, you came up to the room, and we did absolutely nothing. Our union was not consummated. I don’t understand you.” All content © N/.ôvel/Dr/ama.Org.
“It’s just...” I don’t even know how to say it. I stare at him; his eyes are watching me even more confused than mine must be.
I’m on his hips. I rub his erect, rock-hard member. My sex radiates an inner warmth I never thought possible to have. I feel wet, but my desire is stunned, fried, frozen.
Does he really not know?
“How much has your memory been affected? How did this happen to you enough to make you have surgery?”
“It’s not the right time to talk about it, Tatiana. You’re naked on me.”
“I’m not naked. I’m wearing panties.” I put my hands on my hips, an automatic gesture I make when I’m uncomfortable with something.
“Get off, please,” he asks me after a few eternal seconds without saying half a word.
“But...”
“Get off, Tatiana.” This time his tone is harsher, less playful, and loving, not like a few minutes ago. I don’t understand how it’s possible for him to be both versions in one person. He can be loving and tender, also cold as an iceberg. That same coldness takes over my body, so I move to leave his body and stay on the mattress. I cover my chest with the blue satin sheet to match the entire room. Days ago, I did a little remodeling: I removed some things and decorated others under my taste. I don’t care about the circumstances under which Darío became a widower. I hate myself for the selfish thought,
but life goes on, and he decided to get married for whatever reason. Now I am in his life, and I must mark my space.
That made me feel better in the first few hours. Then I thought that Darío was not ready to let his late wife rest in peace, nor to start over. Instead, he tried to love me.
He rises from the bed. His chest is darker than his body, for he wears tiny hairs as dark as night, coiled and delicate, silently inviting me to run my hands over them.
“You and I haven’t made love. We haven’t had sex. I don’t know what you’re up to and what you want to accomplish with this. Are you pregnant? Did you get pregnant and decide to marry me? Do you want to make me believe that this child you’re expecting is mine?”
I am left with my jaw unhinged as I listen to the string of fallacies, lies, and contradictions that Darío spews out of his mouth. Is this man crazy? Doesn’t he listen to what he says?
“You are insane!” I get off the bed and go to him. I drag the poor sheet. “Of course, we made love. You were already with me. I’ve been trying to tell you for days! You took my virginity! You were the first man I trusted to give my body to!”
“Tatiana, that’s absurd. It’s illogical! So illogical is that you pretend I’m going to believe you. I don’t know what you were told in my absence and who told you about my condition, but you’re not going to manipulate me.”
“Is that what this is about? Do you think I’m manipulating you? Who hurt you so much that you would doubt your own wife like this?” I start to cry and feel his hands around me. “Get away! Get off me! You hurt me. You denigrate me. You accuse me of being a slut, getting pregnant, and manipulating you into making me your wife. You can’t accuse me of those atrocities, of being a horrible person and then want to comfort me.”
“You are not a horrible person.” This one, I hear his voice calmer, less out of control. “However, you have to believe me when I tell you that you and I have never been together.”
“Then what? Who did I give my virginity to?”
“Don’t yell like that. Don’t talk so loud.”
“Why? Are you afraid others will hear how absurd your words are? Do you think others think you married a whore?”
“Tatiana!” He tries to grab me again, but I pull away and walk to the door. I open it and leave him standing. He turns at the sound of my footsteps.
I know he can’t see me. I’ve always heard that when one of the five senses is affected, the others intensify their performance.
“I will leave. You don’t trust me and what happened.” My cheeks are pitiful, and my eyes burn from trying to control the fall of my tears. “You don’t want me around.”
“I didn’t say that. I didn’t say I don’t trust you either. But, Tatiana, for God’s sake, come. Get away from the door and come,” he begs me. I almost feel my feet fly to him. “Come and let’s talk.”
“We have nothing more to talk about on the subject. You say you weren’t with me, and I know you were, I know you were, because believe it or not, it was at my twenty-third birthday that I lost my virginity, and guess what, it was with you!”
“Tatiana...”
“No, I can’t talk to you or see you, not until you’re ready to listen to me and not judge me like I’m some random bitch who sleeps with any idiot and then doesn’t know which one.”
“Maybe it wasn’t me, did you ever stop to think that maybe it was...” he runs his hand over his face, “my brother?”
“Fuck you!” I hiss before walking away and leaving him alone in our bedroom.