16
Katia
I can’t stop shaking as I sit in a chair across from Madam Lynn and Isaac in her office. I can’t believe I actually went through with it. I still have the rush of endorphins running through my body from standing up there on the stage in front of everyone. I was vulnerable and alone.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.
My mind goes back to the auction as I try to still my trembling hands. The lights were blinding and I could hardly see, but I knew they were there, watching me. Assessing me. That brought back memories. I close my eyes, hating the flash of my dark past.
My skin pricks as I force myself to think about the present. About the auction and all the emotions that ran through my body. I almost fell over, my knees screaming at me to buckle, when the masked man began the bidding war with Isaac, giving me an order to submit to him. I was scared that he’d outbid Isaac and take me as his property just for revenge. Even worse, if the man with the half mask won, I feared he would be a horrible Master to me, punishing me unjustly for denying him in the first place. Although something tells me he wouldn’t be like that. The eyes behind his mask are full of sadness. It radiates from him in a way I relate to, yet something so different.
But I refused to obey him. He’s not my Master. And he never will be. I wouldn’t go through with the contract. I’d forfeit the money, my membership, I don’t care. Isaac is my only Master.
The sound of leather creaking as Isaac shifts in his seat brings my attention on his handsome face. He’s staring at me, the intensity of his eyes causing my skin to chill. He was here before I came in, waiting eagerly for my arrival. His eyes have never left my face since.
I can tell he’s anxious to just get this over with and take me home like he’s wanted to do for weeks. I can practically feel to the desire and excitement radiating from him. My eyes fall to the stack of papers laying in front of him. My contract. The rules are on top, written in large, black bold letters. I’m sure Isaac has memorized them all by now. I sure as fuck have.
My eyes are drawn to Madam Lynn as she says something else to Isaac. They’ve been talking for a while now, but I can barely breathe, let alone listen. There’s also a stack of papers in front of her, a few that I have yet to sign. Papers that say I’ll be consenting to a 24/7 power exchange. I suck in a deep breath, the realization of what this all means washing over me. There’s no turning back now. I’m his.
He’s a good Master. I know this. But it still does nothing to quell the fear I feel. Isaac’s taking me out of Club X. I tremble at the thought of losing my safety net and having to rely solely on him.
“And about her work?” Madam Lynn asks, her voice coming into focus. She’s been speaking on my behalf this entire time, and I’ve been too out of it to hear anything she’s said. Although when they look at me, I know to nod and agree.
Isaac keeps his eyes on me as he replies, “She will attend all social gatherings and predetermined functions as usual.”
Madam Lynn slowly nods her approval. “Christmas is in 10 days.”
“I’ll make sure she celebrates as usual,” Isaac says confidently.
Their words drone on in the background as they continue going over the contract and I find myself going back into a slight daze. I nod and answer yes as needed, my mind finding its way to my last Christmas. I’d gone home after New Year’s, thinking the attention of the holidays would have passed, only to find that my mother still had the Christmas tree up, waiting for me. Everything was still decorated.
She’d done it for me. Saved everything and made sure to give me a proper holiday. She’ll never know how much it hurt. I don’t want a holiday. I don’t want the life we had before. I don’t know why she doesn’t understand how much it hurts. Everything from before, the traditions she’s so eager to celebrate with me. They’re tainted and a part of my past, where I want them to stay.
They were all there, her, the rest of my family. They had gifts wrapped and everything. Waiting. Watching. Staring. I hated it. Being there in front of them brought back flashbacks of being taken, but I had to force a smile and pretend to be thrilled while I unwrapped the gifts while they all watched as if waiting for me to break down.
I exhale sharply, something Madam Lynn uttered bringing me to the present. I can have rules and conditions, too. I need to state them before the meeting ends and I end up fucked.
“I-” I begin, my voice hoarse and unsteady. I shift in my seat and stare at the table. He is my Master. He is to have control. But there’s one thing I can’t do.
Under the desk, I feel Madam Lynn’s hand gently rub my thigh in an effort to calm me as I speak. I’m grateful and I feel my anxiety ebb just a little. It’s Isaac. I can tell him.
I lick my lips and swallow and try again. “I would like sunlight. Please don’t take that away,” I plead to him. “I can’t go back into darkness.” I shake my head, feeling a cold chill touch my spine. “Even as a punishment, please.”
Isaac leans across the table and places his hand palm up in front of me.
I instantly grab his hand for the comfort and to show him my obedience.
“Of course you will have sunlight,” Isaac assures me, squeezing my hand. “You need it. You can rest assured that I will never take a need away from you. Ever.”
His words are filled with such conviction, it’s hard not to believe him. I relax slightly as my breathing comes in steadier. And I try to remind myself again, that as my Master, Isaac will only be looking out for my best interests. All I need to do is trust him. He’s already had me multiple times, bringing me such pleasure that I didn’t think was humanly possible. He’s not going to hurt me, and he’s more than shown that he’s a capable Master.
I inhale a calming breath as Madam Lynn sets a gold pen down in front of me. She seems to approve of how this session has come along, her eyes warm and caring. I know this must be gratifying to her since she went through all the trouble to ensure Isaac got his collar around my neck, showing up at the shelter unannounced like that.
“Sign here, my darling,” she urges me gently, her calming voice washing over me like a soothing, healing balm.
“If you’d like to take the night and decide-” she starts to say and Isaac’s eyes whip to Madam Lynn for the first time, pissed off and not agreeing.
I shake my head, ignoring the rest of her words as I pick up the gold-plated pen and quickly signing on the dotted line. It takes a lot of effort to keep my hand steady as a mixture of powerful emotions flows through me and I sign my name. Fear and anxiety are present, but excitement outweighs them.
It’s official. Isaac is my Master for the next thirty days.
Twenty-four hours a day; seven days a week. He will have control of everything. Every. Single. Aspect of my life.
I belong to him.
“I think it’s best I go home with Isaac tonight,” I say, trying to keep my fears from owning my voice. If I don’t leave with him now, tonight I’ll want to run. I know it. I don’t want the chance. I lay the pen flat on the stack of papers, staring at the scroll of my signature.
I’m afraid of giving away my power, and going off the club grounds with Isaac where I’ll be in his domain, completely at his mercy. I’m terrified, and yet, I know I need it. No more delays. Just do it. I’ve sold myself to Isaac so I would be forced to confront my fears. Now I just need to put on my big girl panties and face them.
Madam Lynn studies me for a long moment, her eyes soft and filled with concern. I feel like she sees and senses my emotions, but she’s not disturbed by them. If she were, she’d call the meeting. I realize she’s doing this because she feels I need this. She feels it will help me. After a moment, her eyes flicker over to Isaac before she nods and grabs the stack of papers, including the last one I signed and rises from her seat. Without saying a word, she quietly leaves the room, leaving me alone with Isaac.
“Are you alright, kitten?” Isaac asks as soon as Madam Lynn is gone, his deep voice filled with concern.
“I’m scared, Isaac,” I admit after several moments of nervously biting my lower lip. I pause, my heart skipping a beat, hoping I didn’t already break a rule now that he’s officially my Master. “Can I even call you that anymore?”
To my relief, Isaac doesn’t look angry. “We’ll talk about the rules when we get home,” is all he says, looking like his mind is on other things.
I nod my head, my fingers unconsciously finding my neck, trailing my scars. “And a collar?” I dare ask, my body going tense. Just thinking about it is causing my stomach to twist with anxiety.
Isaac hesitates. “When you’re ready,” he says finally.
Shock causes me to suck in a surprised breath. I didn’t expect him to say that. At all.
“I know this is hard for you,” Isaac says, his deep voice filled with absolute confidence. “But don’t be afraid. I will care for all of your needs. You need not worry. Ever.”
God, his words sound so reassuring. So seductive, even.
I close my eyes, sucking in several calming breaths, telling myself I can do this. When I open them a moment later, I feel the faintest threads of determination thread through my chest as I breathe, “I’m ready,” praying I feel the same way tomorrow.