The Billionaire Hit Woman

CASSANDRA

Oh my God, he is burning up with a fever. I wonder how long he has been like this, and if he is this way because of me. “Nick.” I call out his name softly as I drop the pocket knife on the bed absentmindedly, with my hand still touching his forehead that is so hot. Why didn’t he say anything about it? He should have gotten home early and he shouldn’t have over worked himself either.

“Nick.” I call out again since he still hasn’t replied me. I touch his forehead again before feeling his chest, and shaking him lightly, but he still doesn’t wake up. I run out of his room, with the kitchen knife I was going to murder him with, to the kitchen to grab a bowl of water, and a napkin. I drop the knife with the other knives in the kitchen before walking back as quick as I can to his room with the bowl of water and the napkin in my hands, while trying my best to not spill water as I walk up the stairs.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

I sit by his bed again to see he’s still not awake. I drop the bowl of water on the floor, by the bed and soak the napkin in the water, before squeezing it to drain out the water in it, but I don’t completely drain it. I start to wipe the exposed part of his upper body, from his face to his hand. I put back the napkin in the water as I start to button down his shirt before removing it from his body, leaving him shirtless. I stare at his broad hard chest, and for a moment all important thoughts vanish from my mind and I’m back to thinking about the heated kiss we shared few days ago.

You shouldn’t be thinking about that Cassandra, stop being stupid. Beside you are not even in a position to feel anything about him right now since, if you’ve forgotten, you were just about to kill him few seconds ago but you failed… again, which is no longer surprising and here you are, watching him.

I clear my head, and soak the napkin again, draining it before putting it on his head. He stirs in his sleep and immediately after, his eyes flutters open weakly, his deep blue eyes staring back at me with surprise and then a little reflection of hurt. I ignore his eyes and soak the cloth again before putting it over his head when he stops me.

“Why?” He asks weakly, staring at me as he tries to get up, which is probably a bad idea but I don’t say anything, and instead try to push him back down gently, but he just brushes my hands away.

“You were burning up.” I say, looking away from his eyes. I don’t want to see the hurt I am causing as it makes my heart break as well.

“So what?” He scoffs weakly, and then continues as he rests his head against the headboard of his bed, “Why do you care?” He says, making my heart sink further in my chest because of the hurt I can hear in his voice, and before I can reply, he adds again, “Why are you even in here? It should be none of your business if I fall sick or get hurt Cassy, especially since you’re partly responsible.” I want to speak but I just keep quiet, not wanting to continue the conversation.

He is silent for a while and then starts talking. “You rejected me and the worst part is you see what I see as special to be a mistake, but if you want me to stay away from you then you have to stay away from me. Do not take care of me, when you don’t love me, and I can take care of myself just fine.” He concludes and I feel tears gathering at my eyes but I just have to blink them back.

“You will get worse by morning if I don’t do this now.” I say ignoring everything he just said even if it’s really affecting me but I tell myself I deserve it; every single harsh tone or hatred I get from him, and that he’s not just being a total jerk right now. I try to put the cloth on his head again but he pushes my hands away and then gets up from the bed, walking towards his door with shaky steps. I sit on the bed looking down at the floor unable to look up because looking at him will make the tears I’m trying my best to hold back fall in torrents.

“Leave.” He says as he gets to the door, opening it wide and then stands by it. I look up at him, but he looks away, not meeting my eyes.

“What? Excuse me?” I say, getting pissed. It’s not my fault if I don’t love him back or if I’m not sure whether I do, and it’s not compulsory for me to love him back just because he loved me, so why’s he being such a jerk about it?

“Leave Cassandra, just get out of my room.” He yells, making me flinch. I look at him in disbelief, getting up from the bed, “Please leave.” He says again and make my way to his door, leaving the water and napkin for him to use.

Despite the anger I’m feeling, I let it slide and apologize. “I’m sorry.” I say, stopping outside his room, before facing him to apologize again.

“If you are not going to reciprocate how I feel, then please stop messing with me and leading me on, and please stop acting as if you care.” He says.

Okay, that’s it. “Excuse me asshole for wanting to take care of you because you’re sick and I don’t want it to get worse. I never told you I loved, I never tried seducing you, I never led you on because I had no idea you loved me… maybe I suspected, but either ways, you loving me doesn’t make it compulsory for me to feel the same, and Yes! I do care about you. I don’t have to love you to care about you, and I don’t know who the fuck told you that. Just because I can’t reciprocate your love doesn’t mean you should become a total jerk and start accusing of things, but it’s okay, I get it, I’m living in your house and eating your food; that’s what all this shit is about, right? Well, I’ll leave so I don’t ‘lead’ you on further. The water and napkin is still there, use it.” I yell angrily, the words pouring out of my mouth before I can even think of it. He looks very shocked at my outburst and before I can say anything else. the door slams shut in my face. I start to regret all what I said, even though it’s true, because I not only said it in a mean manner but he’ll feel worse about himself.

I should have said it to him nicely, and understood that he’s going through a rough time and would apologize when he got through it. The tears that have filled up in my eyes falls as soon as I blink and I walk back down the stairs to the second floor, where my room is. As soon as I shut my door, I sink down to the floor in tears and cry, not being able to comprehend the mixed emotions I am feeling, I don’t even understand it at all. My chest feels so tight and suffocating, like a part of me has been ripped out of me.

Nick’s last words ring over and over again in my head as I picture his hurt expression when he said it and that makes my heart break more, it makes me feel a lot of things and I don’t even know how to explain it. Why does it feel like an important part of me just died, like I just lost a part of me?

My head spins, making me dizzy as I start to wonder about what I feel towards Nick but I can’t really place my hands on it because it feels so new, so foreign, and honestly, I don’t know how I feel but I know I shouldn’t feel the way I am feeling right now. What if I really do love Nick and then I can’t finish my job and get my payment. You’re still thinking about your payment, when your life is also on the line?

Suddenly, I realize something, and my face turns white as sheet as I gasp in horror, I left the pocket knife inside Nick’s room. I had forgotten about it after returning the other knife. Fuck! What would he say or think when he finds the knife on his bed? Oh my God! I fucked up big time. How do I explain to him why I entered his room at two am in the morning with a pocket knife? What if he figures everything out? How do I tell him that I am sent to kill him? I’m I going to go to jail?

I pick up my phone and then dial Julian’s number not caring if it’s too early for that but I just really need someone to talk to right now, I need someone’s opinion on what’s going on. She picks it up the fourth time it rings. “Hey Julian, it’s me, Cassy.”