Want to Play A Game

“Jessica, I don’t understand why you can’t just listen to your mother and do as your told on this kind of thing.”

“Mother I really don’t understand what you are talking about. I can’t live a life unhappy and that isn’t my life to live.”

“Jake loves you Jessica. You need to cut out your shit and just suck it up and do as your told let him take care of you.”

“I am not settling mother. I don’t want to settle down just because he wants me to. I should want to also. When I feel the time is right I will, I’m just not ready yet.”

“Oh my Jessica you are so pathetic. You would be set for life with no worry or concern. He comes from money you would never need anything.”

“Mother that is not what it’s all about. I don’t want that type of relationship. I want it to be more than just for security. I want to love him and him love me. I love him but he wants different things, he deserves better.”

“Your such a stupid girl. I wish you would use your brains and be smart. You make the worst choices for yourself.”

“Mother how could you say this? I’m your daughter you should support me and be there for me. Instead you are always no matter what on his side. I’m so sick of it.”

“You stupid girl. I am going to tell you now don’t call us until you come to you senses. Call Jake beg for his forgiveness and get back together with him.”

“I will not do that mother. I’m not getting back with Jake we are over.”

“Then don’t bother with us anymore unless you come to your senses my love.”

I was shocked hearing those words come out her mouth. I watch her walk to the door to leave slamming it right behind her. I can’t believe that she is basically saying, If I don’t listen and get back with Jack that she won’t talk to me anymore. What the hell is her fucking problem? How dare her say those things to me. Why must she try to have control over me. I don’t want to be with Jake. I’m so upset not knowing how I should feel about what the hell just happened.

There is a knock at the door. I don’t even look to see who it is. I’m so upset I just open the door and it’s Jake. What the fuck?

“Can we talk Jessica, may I come in?”

“Jake why are you here? We don’t want the same things. You know as much as I do that we don’t belong together.”

“Jessica why would you say that? You know that we belong together. I know that I messed up but please just forgive me.”

“No Jake, I don’t want to fight we are heading in different directions. You want different things than I do. We need to stop lying to each other and we need to be done with this.”

“Please Jake just leave! I am done you need to leave. I don’t want to be together.”

“Fine Jessica, you will regret this, I promise you.”

I am so confused on what is going on tonight. What I thought would be a nice night, turns out to be a nightmare. I hate people always trying to control my life. Why won’t they just let me live my life.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

I know that Jake is hurt that I don’t want to be with him anymore. He deserves real happiness the kind I can’t give him. I can’t believe my mother would not want anything to do with me, if I don’t decide to be with Jake.

I don’t want to be with Jake. I don’t want to live a lie any longer, he wants all the things that I don’t. This is what it comes to every time, him trying to force me into being the person that he wants me to be. My mother being his partner in crime trying to get their way. It’s not going to work because I am not falling for their tricks.

I’m done with all of it. If she really feels that way about me, maybe I don’t need her in my life after all. She knows the things that matter to her the most don’t really matter to me. Just like money and materialistic things it’s always been the little things that count to me. With my mother it’s always been about needing more and more.

I am not like her and I think that is what drives her insane. I said my peace with her and I said my peace with him. Where it’s going to lead from here, I have no idea.

I don’t like drama but it just seems like it’s never going to stop ever. My mother holds grudges pretty well so I am thinking she’s not going to talk to me for a little bit now. As for Jake I just hope that he just moves on and finds someone that truly loves him the way they should.

Starting right now, I am going to live for me making choice’s for myself. Not let anyone get in the way of what I want. I need to be more feisty and get it done. Not give a shit what anyone else thinks or how it may impact them. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone physically anyway.

Oh my God, I am so irritated. I can’t believe my own mother siding with someone that isn’t her own blood. She’s not even taking my feelings into consideration. And she says, I’m the pathetic one but the truth is she is the pathetic one not me. Jake always needing my mother to come to his rescue and fight his battles with me. She always has his back every single time well not this time. I’m taking charge sorry about their luck.

As I start to sit down, I hear yet again another knock at the door. I don’t even want to answer it, this night has just been so awful. What more can possibly happen? I go and open the door, I instantly smile with excitement, it’s Matt!